Anxiety and Depression
- “Is it me?”
- “I thought I looked nice and the conversation went well…”
- “Was I weird?”
- “Did I do enough, or did I talk too much?”
- “Did I answer the questions right?”
- “I should’ve said this instead.”
- “Am I doing too much?”
- “Is he actually interested in me, or does he want someone else?”
- “Am I enough?”
- “I haven’t dated in so long. I don’t even know what to say.”
- “Why did I do that?!”
Sound like someone you know?
If this sounds anything like the internal chatter of your mind, I’m glad you’ve arrived at my page.
Would you do yourself a favor?
Take a deep breath as a sigh of relief that solutions are within arm’s reach.
Working. Achieving. Navigating daily life. All while thinking of others.
It’s a heavy load to carry.
Comparing yourself and always falling short…
Asking yourself, “Am I good enough?” invites self-doubt and misery.
Comparing yourself to other women and their relationships, seemingly questioning everything you do, does NOT mean something is wrong with you.
However, it DOES mean that your frustration is real and that you’re dissatisfied.
I get it.
You want the constant thoughts, the anxiety, and the loneliness to stop.
Persistent thoughts (aka “ruminating”) about love and dating?
Or noticing that other women seem to just simply get the man they want – and feeling unsure about yourself?
I Hear You.
If you’re met with deep sadness and feel like what you’re doing is an all-consuming battle, then dating is probably the last thing you think of as being fun.
The fear of rejection is enough to keep anyone looping in familiarity.
It’s all wearing you down.
You look confident on the outside. On the inside? You’re carrying anxiety, disappointment, and self-doubt in your relationships.
For many women from BIPOC communities, there are also additional layers that impact you:
- Family expectations
- Cultural pressures
- Experiences of emotional invalidation
- The belief that you always have to be the strong one
Over time, all that emotional weight makes relationships feel exhausting, confusing, and emotionally unsafe.
I’ve got some questions for you.
Do you believe that you’re worthy of a quality and successful romantic relationship?
Obviously you do, because that’s why you’re here.
If you answered yes, then I’d like to ask you another question:
How do you know that you’re worthy of this treasure point you desire?
Walk with me a little further.
When did you realize that you possessed the characteristics that made you worthy?
Who told you that you were worthy of it?
Did someone or something give you permission, or did you decide that you were worthy of it?
Now that I’ve tickled your belief system – imagine that the answers to your desires and becoming more confident and socially active have nothing to do with what you’re lacking.
How I work: understanding your anxiety’s story.
I draw on Solution-Focused Brief Therapy and Narrative Therapy to get at the mechanism underneath your anxiety.
Narrative Therapy gives us a way to see that the voice asking “Is it me?” is a story, and it formed long before now.
When we externalize that story, we can examine where it came from, what it has been protecting, and what it costs you to keep living inside it.
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy keeps us anchored to what is already working in you, building forward from your strengths rather than cataloguing what’s broken.
Together, these approaches mean we’re not diagnosing your personality or dissecting your past for its own sake.
We are locating the narrative that has been running in the background so that you can author a different story moving forward.
Ready to rewrite it?
As a licensed therapist (LMFT, LSOTP) with more than 10 years of clinical experience and a story of my own, I am ready to explore whatever isn’t working in your life.
Relationship anxiety, dating hesitancy, self-consciousness, self-doubt – all are welcome here.
Change doesn’t come from forcing yourself to “get it right.”
It comes from understanding what’s been driving your experience – and learning how to shift it.
When you’re ready, reach out: (254) 218-3260
Take the First Step
You don't have to figure this out alone. Reach out today and let's talk about what's been weighing on you.